I'm depressed.

I know the signs, this has happened before. runs in my family according to my mother. I used to think when I was in junior high and we watched late 90's vidoes made to try to appeal to the "y generation" or whatever it is i've been lumped with, that depression was glamorous, blue tinted and high contrasted.

it's not, it's hot, like you're living in a room that used to be a garage in house with no ac, yellowish like sweat stains, and glaringly bright with those little technicolor spots from a migraine.

i push people away, which for the most part isn't hard. social structures are mostly like water, they flow to the easiest spot, people are hydrogen bonded, like blends with like and they stick together in little crystalline structures.

sometimes someone can hurt you with words, and sometimes indifference. it's funny how all that tenderness and intimacy can flip on it's head in an instant and all that soft pink exposed flesh gets pinched.