Wednesday, November 18, 2009

dust of today

I feel threatened by observationism. that's a word i just made up, meaning to me the ism or believe in observing over acting. it's so easy to have a divorce from thought and action. I learn by watching so I watch and observe, and that is good I think. but it needs to be simultaneous with doing otherwise I sit there outside my body, completely in my eyes. It's overwhelming, the longer I go without doing myself, no matter how clumsy or awkward the doing may go, the more overwhelming the actions of other's creations, the feeling of wasting potential of time passing and dust collecting. There are so many ideas inside, and when they get disconnected from the outside they threaten to explode from the unequalized pressure.
I believe this feeling to be universal, because I know that most feelings are in some degree universal, but I can only speak from my experience. There is a nag inside, itching, begging, bugging, burning do what you can do, make what you can make try try try. How can you experience any great creation, and you feel it, whether it's a small project from a peer of a masterpiece in a hallowed display case, you feel it's struggle that wrought it into existence and the evenutal triumph or truce of the creator, even just a talented voice being brave, how can you feel that and not want to echo that struggle and try as well?

2 comments:

anna. said...

i love how you used divorce here.

also i miss you in the states.

Unknown said...

It seems a good blog,thanks.

greatchandelier