i'm going to germany in two weeks. everyone i know, everything i take for granted will change. and everyone else is excited for me. it's the kind of thing people like other people to do. leave, go on an adventure....

i have the plane ticket. it makes sense for me to go.

i'm sad to leave. especially the way that i am. more confused about everything then i ever have been. but i recognize it has no connection to reality, my being sad and confused. it's just something in my head, like the vivid memory of a dream no one else cares about because of some insubstantial images and emotions that felt real to me and beyond my control.